The MTA Art Gallery

13 12 2009

Thank the good Lord Jesus Christ for the underground subway posters brought to you by our dear friends at the MTA (and that’s all the thanks you’ll get from me you dirty bastards). Seriously though, when the city keeps trying to bring you down – when your devil cuntress of a boss has been busting your proverbial balls all day long, and all you can do is sigh and huff and puff in the time before you get home and start slashing your stuffed animals, you can always take a look at the wonderful works of art that constantly surround you on the subway platforms. New Yorkers really are some witty bastards and even if they’re not necessarily witty, we’ve all got some pretty good stories. Consider Exhibit A for example:

So…Tobey McGuire…Hollywood’s golden nerd that can maybe beat you up, pays some poor fuck to be his mule? Tobey McGuire has mules (because let’s get real – this guy’s friend is not the only balloon pooping bastard the McGuister has on his payroll) !?!? I’m very inclined to make some kind of Tobey McGuire – Topher Grace – Maria Full of Grace joke, but I’m only on my second cup of coffee, so I’m stumped. So, if you can finagle that perfect zinger I’m looking for…hook it up. Anyhoo, that being said, Exhibit B…

is for Baldwin! Slap my ass and call me Trudy, this poster is amazing! I stepped off the F train on Friday night, was making my way to the L train when I basically did one of these:

I stopped dead in my tracks, screamed at the top of my lungs and proceeded to piss myself. J.K Rowling, I only pointed and laughed and THOUGHT I might pee myself – because contrary to popular belief, I actually didn’t marry Josh Duhamel. Yes, it’s a crying, pissing shame.